


Mac Fights Gay Marriage, but Should He?

by macdentrash



Category: IASIP, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M, MacDennis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-06-19 04:40:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15502506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macdentrash/pseuds/macdentrash
Summary: Wow so I've had this fic idea for awhile, I always felt like there was SO MUCH left unspoken in the episodes Mac Fights Gay Marriage/Dennis Gets Divorced so I decided to fill in the blanks in the gayest way possible. Anyways, there will be at least one new chapter a week until it's finished (more if I decide to stop being lazy). ALSO, this is my first fic ever so please be nice or I will cry. Hope y'all enjoy and thanks for reading. Find me on tumblr under the same name (@macdentrash).





	1. Mac Fights Gay Marriage

**Author's Note:**

> Wow so I've had this fic idea for awhile, I always felt like there was SO MUCH left unspoken in the episodes Mac Fights Gay Marriage/Dennis Gets Divorced so I decided to fill in the blanks in the gayest way possible. Anyways, there will be at least one new chapter a week until it's finished (more if I decide to stop being lazy). ALSO, this is my first fic ever so please be nice or I will cry. Hope y'all enjoy and thanks for reading. Find me on tumblr under the same name (@macdentrash).

Dennis, Frank, Charlie and Dee were arguing about the suspicious almonds that Charlie had fed them. Dennis is irritated not only because he does not want to eat Charlie’s goddamn street nuts but his irritation also stems from the fact that Mac had yet to show up to the bar. He had gotten a call from his gym earlier that told him Mac had been trying to use his membership again but that had been a little while ago and Mac still hadn’t checked in. Dennis wasn’t concerned, he was just irritated that his best friend wasn’t including him in whatever scheme he had undoubtedly gotten himself into.

Suddenly, Dennis heard a presence storming into the bar, and he felt wildly chaotic energy. He felt some tension in his body release as Mac came into the room, he was just happy that he didn’t have to keep checking his phone for updates from a man who couldn’t be bothered to even check in for Christ’s sake. It’s at this time that he realized Mac is even more wound up than normal.

Great! He thought to himself. Although Dennis cared greatly for Mac (whether he liked to admit that to himself or not), he always got at least a little excited when Mac got worked up like this. It gave him a chance to explore his influence over Mac (a topic that has taken up _quite_ a bit of space on his Mac File). 99% of the time when Mac was upset all it took was a flick of Dennis’s wrist to calm him down. The sensation of feeling an at first rapid heartbeat that which almost immediately slowed down at his touch always made him feel an overwhelming sense of pride.

As soon as Mac made his way over to Dennis at the bar, he listened eagerly to hear whatever crazy shit was going to come out of Mac’s mouth. He knew it was easy to set Mac off, but he really seemed tense today. Dennis knew for a fact now that he needed to reach out and calm down his friend.

Mac started to ramble about getting his “pump on” at the gym and Dennis was frustrated, why couldn’t he just get to the point so that he could try to destress him a little bit?

Dennis asked Mac: “What in God’s name are you talking about?”  
Dee followed up with: “Is this the big news?”

Once Mac started to get into the situation further, Dennis just grew more confused. Apparently, Mac ran into his ex Carmen at the gym and now everyone is going back and forth about marriage and gay rights. 

As soon as Dennis made the implication that Mac may be gay (that is if he considered the relationship between Carmen and her husband a “gay marriage” and had a problem with it), Mac grew more visibly angry and moved past Dennis to rummage behind the bar. 

While Dee, Frank and Charlie talked about the right to marriage, Dennis started to think a little bit about himself and where his romantic life was going. He was not quite sure why this particular discussion was making him so uneasy but he wanted it to be over with as soon as possible. 

When Charlie accused Mac of being upset because Carmen married someone else and not him, Mac became even more visibly angry and started talking about how nobody got anything out of gay sex and spouting homophobic shit. After this, he quickly started spewing religious garbage that made no sense to anybody but him, trying to quote bible verses that he definitely did _not_ have memorized. 

Dennis had Mac’s words ringing in his ears. He remembered the times in the past in the darkness of bedrooms (high school), dorms (college), and their apartment (adulthood) that him and Mac had done and said things to one another that would make Mac look even more of a hypocrite than he already did. These nights were almost always fueled by alcohol/drugs because that was the only way they could build up the courage to admit to themselves what they wanted from each other. 

Mac started to scream about finding a bible, and once Dennis pointed out that there was no bible in the bar (because it’s a fucking bar!) Mac stormed out of Paddy’s with a promise to be back to “school all of their asses”. 

Upon hearing the slam of the door behind Mac, Dennis had a flash of a memory (a memory that he kept buried because if he acted on what it stirred inside him, he might do something very, very stupid). _They had just come home from the opening of Paddy’s Pub. As soon as they had come through the apartment door Mac had crushed his lips into Dennis’s and they had made their way to Dennis’s bedroom very quickly. After they had lustful, hazy sex on top of Dennis’s silk sheets, Mac laid his head on Dennis’s chest. He was glowing from what had just happened and he looked at Dennis with so much tenderness that it hurt. He whispered, “nobody else will ever mean as much to me as you do right now”. After this statement, Mac laid his head down on Dennis and fell asleep. Dennis ran his hands through Mac’s fluffy hair and listened to him breathe. And that was the moment that Dennis Reynolds knew that he was totally and absolutely fucked for life._

Dennis turned to the remaining members of the gang and told them how he always thought that he would be married by now. In the back of his mind, he knew whom he would really like to be attached to legally for the rest of his life but he pushed the thought to the side. He needed to let the notion of ever having a relationship with Mac go and focus on his future. He decided that he should find Maureen Ponderosa (the girl he vaguely remembered having some feelings for when he was a young man, he thought he had to have been in love with Maureen Ponderosa) and ask her out to catch up. 

Dennis told the gang about his sudden regret of ending things with Maureen so long ago and while they didn’t seem to think the idea of him trying to reconnect with her was a great one, he didn’t really give a shit because they were a bunch of street nut eating idiots.


	2. Reuniting Dennis and Maureen Ponderosa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis and Maureen reconnect at the local Subway.

When Dennis and Dee waltzed into the Subway, Dennis felt nervous. He hadn’t felt anything but anger since Mac’s whole homophobic rampage so he was surprised at the tightness taking over his stomach. This must be the love that he remembered feeling for Maureen in high school! How could he have forgotten? _This_ was what he should be feeling, this was definitely better than the infinite comfort that he felt with Mac’s warm body next to his (now that he thought about it, he wondered what Mac was getting himself into with the whole Carmen situation)…why in the ever breathing fuck was he thinking about Mac right now? He needed to focus on the situation at hand, he was going to see Maureen Ponderosa for God’s sake. 

Maureen walked up to him and Dee, she had that soft brown hair and big brown eyes that really poked at the tender pieces of his heart, although he could have done without the colorful monstrosity that was her sweater (Dennis wondered to himself if this grown woman really had a fucking _cat_ on her chest right now) but he decided that he could move past this terrible fashion decision on her part. 

Dennis and Maureen had an awkward exchange, and they both told each other how “amazing” they looked. Then Dee started to have a weird conversation with Bill Ponderosa (who let’s be honest could not have competed with the Golden God in high school but had no fucking chance now) and his wife, and his _kids_ and his blah blah fucking blah. 

Dee decided that the best thing for her was to bounce the fuck out of that Subway as soon as possible, Dennis realized this as she flew out the door. Dennis turned to Bill and made him feel uncomfortable about being a third wheel with him and Maureen until Bill finally took the fucking hint and left the Subway as well.

_Finally_ , he was alone with the girl of his dreams. 

Dennis started to talk to Maureen about the good ol’ days in high school, the days when they had awkwardly made out behind this same building in her dad’s Datsun. Now that he thought about it, the memories weren’t _that_ great. He remembered feeling unsure of himself and trying his best to dodge the smell of Maureen’s dead tooth… he noticed the smell wafting towards him in the present moment to be perfectly honest but decided it would be better to ignore it and focus on the conversation at hand. 

Dennis asked: “So how is your dad?” 

Maureen looked traumatized and told him about finding her father in the Datsun after his suicide, how _yellow_ his eyes looked. She kept going on about having to break the window of the car, she looked very near to tears. 

Wow, this was a total fucking buzzkill, he should really try to liven up the conversation. Dennis started laughing and repeating her name, “Maureen Ponderosa”. He’s not sure why he always said it in this way, but for some reason it gave him comfort. Maureen Ponderosa is the girl who he was always supposed to end up with right? Nothing can go wrong now that they’ve found each other again.

Dennis looked at Maureen again and said: “Dennis Reynolds and Maureen Ponderosa back together again at last”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments/kudos are appreciated. Find me @macden trash on tumblr.


	3. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis proposes to Maureen in the parking lot of Subway.

Dennis and Maureen quickly wrapped up their meal at Subway and headed out into the parking lot. Dennis asked for her number and she handed it over with a quick smile. 

“Well it was really great to see you Dennis, we should do this again sometime” Maureen said while gazing up at him and flashing her dead tooth. 

Dennis decided in this moment that pursuing some kind of relationship that could actually end up in a serious commitment was more important than one little flaw. He smiled warmly at her before saying:  
“Yeah Maureen, we should do this again. Or even better we could go do something together right now if you’d like”  
“What would you want to do? I’m a little bit too full for dessert” Maureen asked with a nervous laugh  
“Well, since you asked, I was thinking that you and I could go down to the courthouse and get married” Dennis gave her a knowing look while she looked at him with a stunned expression, he continued:  
“You and I were always supposed to end up together! Don’t you understand? Dennis Reynolds and Maureen Ponderosa! We were together when we were young and had such a deep connection, and now look at us…we’ve found our way back to each other! This is how it was always supposed to be”

Maureen gave an excited squeal and threw her arms around his neck.   
“Yes, I’ll marry you! I think you’re right, I really feel like we were meant to reconnect and why wait on a future that could be so great?” She gave him a tight hug and started pulling on his arm.  
“Well let’s get going! We have our wedding to get to!”

Dennis was honestly surprised at how quick Maureen was to accept his proposal, he had thought he would need to employ further tactics of manipulation but she seemed perfectly ready to go along with his matrimonial plans. To be truthful, he was a little disappointed. He had been a little hopeful that she would be offended at the idea and would have freaked out before fleeing the scene, if this had been the case he could have gone home and moped until Mac’s concerned instincts kicked in. Mac would ask him how he was and they could watch movies until Dennis felt better (maybe they could have even pulled out the good booze and then see where the night took them). Dennis shook himself out of his thoughts of what might have happened because Mac was never going to accept himself for who he was so why should Dennis wait around for something that he was not going to get? 

He followed Maureen’s lead and they headed to the courthouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought it was so funny to imagine Dennis proposing to Maureen in the parking lot of the Subway like it's a super casual and normal thing to do and her just going along with that despite it making no logical sense. Thanks for reading :)  
> Any comments/kudos are appreciated. Find me @macdentrash on tumblr.


	4. The Wedding of the Century

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis and Maureen have a court house wedding!

Once they got to the courthouse, things started to move very quickly. They got all the paperwork in order, paid the fee and got in front of a few witnesses. The vows they gave went by in a blur and before he knew it, Dennis Reynolds was a married man. He put his arm around his wife (who he now realizes got married to him while wearing a _fucking cat_ sweater) and starts to walk out of the court house. He’s just thinking how he can’t believe he’s made it this long without some kind of disruption from his dysfunctional friends when him and Maureen run into Frank and Charlie. Of fucking course they’re here right now, and _of fucking course_ they’re trying to get married too. 

When Dennis delivers the fantastic news of his marriage to his friends, they are less than ecstatic. Frank asks him “what is wrong with you?”, and Dennis goes on to try and rationalize his seemingly random marriage to a girl he dated 20 years ago in high school.

Dennis and Maureen exited the court house with only a few stray remarks made about the dead tooth and a conversation about how easy it was for him and Maureen to get married compared to Frank and Charlie’s sham of a “marriage”. He just wants to get away from whatever freak show is bound to be made by Frank and Charlie inside of the court house.

Dennis ushered Maureen out the door and towards the car in the parking lot. He opened the passenger’s side door and shut it quietly behind her. Now it’s time to go home and consummate his marriage. There’s just one little thing that he needs to do first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so this is short but there are longer chapters coming up :)  
> Any comments/kudos are appreciated. Find me @macdentrash on tumblr.


	5. Breaking News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac looked at him in shock and then turned his face to the floor before he said:  
> “Wait a second, wait a second. Dennis, you’re married?”

Dennis was sitting on the couch when Mac came home from the gym. Mac was still wound up, but not quite as much as he had been earlier. He started to tell Dennis how Carmen and her “gay husband” were trying to confuse him at the gym. Mac was pacing back and forth in the living room while saying:  
“And then he just grabs my bible and starts reading things back to me as if he knows my religion better than I do! Then he told me that _I’m_ the one who’s confused! Can you believe that Den? They are totally out to get me and just don’t want to admit to their own sins!” 

Mac turned to Dennis, gave a frustrated sigh and said “Dude are you even listening to me?”  
“I’m listening man. I just have some big news to tell you!” Dennis said excitedly.  
“It can’t be bigger than what’s been happening with Carmen dude, this shit is really getting to my core. I need to like bathe in holy water after all this man” Mac retorted  
“Oh yeah man? Well I got married to Maureen Ponderosa today down at the court house” Dennis gave him a small smile.

Mac looked at him in shock and then turned his face to the floor before he said:  
“Wait a second, wait a second. Dennis, you’re married?”

Mac walked over and sat across from Dennis, finally shutting up and listening to what he had to say for once.   
“Yes, man, I’m married. I’m a married man” Dennis told Mac. He smiled a little too brightly and talked a little too fast while explaining that Maureen was moving in. 

He told Mac that he was starting to feel again, he was actually having emotions! He asked Mac if he remembered feelings, and Mac responded:  
“Yeah, I have feelings every day of my life”  
“Do you?” Dennis asked. He was genuinely curious, there were days that he did not feel much of anything and days that he felt too much. He wondered what it was like to feel consistent emotions. He also wanted to see if a question about feelings would bring anything out in his best friend.  
“Are you saying that you don’t have feelings?” Mac asked him.

Ok, so maybe this conversation wasn’t bringing out in Mac what he had hoped it would (jealousy, love, fucking anything other than how pathetic he is while looking up at Dennis with his puppy dog eyes). He told Mac how Maureen tore down his walls with marriage. He really wanted to drive the point home that marriage is what had finally broken down his walls. Why couldn’t Mac see what he was getting at, why was he so fucking dense all the time?

Mac looked at him and he seemed very confused and a little bit hurt. Dennis couldn’t deal with any more questions from him and definitely did not want to explain the situation any further so he quickly hopped up from his spot on the couch and started rushing Mac out. Dennis explained that Mac needed to move out, and no he could not take anything with him because he didn’t own a single thing in that apartment. 

Dennis throws an arm around Mac’s neck out of habit while leading him out the door. He quickly tells Mac that he will be removing him from his cellphone plan and pretty much anything else that keeps them connected in any way. Mac asks Dennis if he can say something and Dennis says:   
“Yeah, totally” and then Dennis sighs and lets the door swing shut in Mac’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( Trash man Dennis Reynolds hurt Mac  
> Any comments/kudos are appreciated. Find me @macdentrash on tumblr


	6. Dennis Reynolds: A Married Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis can't make it through his first night as a married man before trying to sneak out to see "the guys".

It’s about an hour after he threw Mac out of their apartment, and Dennis is sitting in his bedroom. Maureen is rattling around in the kitchen and making a shit load of unnecessary noise while she was at it. It kind of reminded him of Mac in a way because whenever Mac decided it was time for them to eat a “real meal”, he pulled out every single kitchenware product and ingredient they had and made a frenzied mess. For some reason when Mac made a disgusting amount of noise it didn’t annoy him, he found it kind of endearing. In opposition, he wishes Maureen would shut up and stop banging around, couldn’t she just pop a frozen pizza in the oven and be done with it? 

Dennis sighed and stared up at the ceiling so hard that he thought it may crack under the sheer weight of his gaze. Why did Mac have to start going off on the idea of (gay) marriage? Why did it have to bother Dennis so much? Why couldn’t he get his stupid roommate (wait, scratch that, his _ex_ roommate) off of his goddamn mind? Why is his mind filled with images of two young boys hanging out in his room in high school, then those same boys in his dorm room in college? Why when he closes his eyes, all he can see is a joyful smile and wide eyes looking up at him?

Suddenly Dennis’s phone beeps and pulls him out of his tightening spiral of thoughts. Thank God, he thought to himself, now he could focus on something else. It was probably Dee or Frank texting him about some scheme that they couldn’t get out of without him. See? He was the guy that his friends turned to when they needed help getting out of a jam. He quickly grabbed his phone from the bedside table and checked his messages, there was only one from Charlie and it read:  
**Mac and I are going to hang out and throw some rocks at trains, maybe catch a movie. Do you want to come?**  
Dennis read the text and immediately felt a wave of excitement crash over him. He knew that Mac had to have written the text because it was actually literate, did that mean Mac didn’t hate his guts in the way he had been fearing? He was also over joyed at the request to hang out because he could escape this goddamn apartment, and his goddamn new wife and he could see his friends. He could see _him_ , and along with that he could act like nothing had changed. Dennis hopped up from the bed and walked into the living room while typing his response.  
**Yeah, I’ll meet you at Paddy’s in 15.**

He started to walk through the living room and towards the front door, still staring at the message on his phone when he is rudely interrupted.  
“Where are you going?” Maureen asked in a sweet voice from the corner of the living room  
“Hey Maureen Ponder…hey. I was just going to go meet up with the guys” Dennis said  
“But I thought we were going to watch a movie tonight?” Maureen questioned  
“Watch a movie-yes, we were. Yeah, you know what-but I feel the need to reconnect with the guys” Dennis said a little too quickly before showing Maureen the movie collection he and Mac had acquired over time and started to encourage her to just watch a movie by herself.

While he was explaining the movie collection, Maureen seemed confused when he started to talk about making Lethal Weapon 5 and how he and Mac had decided to switch roles halfway through. He starts discussing the validity of the black face used in the film, and then Maureen interrupts him to say:  
“Come on, it’s our first night as a married couple! I want to spend it with my husband”

Dennis avoided this and started to point out Maureen’s cat sweater to her, laughing at the little jewels and things she had attached to that poor cat’s face. 

“I like to be comfy and current” Maureen said with a small laugh  
“Yeah, yeah I did not remember that about you” He said. And it was true, he didn’t remember and to be honest he didn’t really care to.  
“You don’t remember a lot of things, silly” Maureen said to him playfully  
“Yeah” he said quietly. He hadn’t remembered the dead tooth, the cat sweaters, how painfully annoying this woman was. 

Maureen started to go on about him staying home while she made them fish sticks. He could not believe that she thought _fish sticks_ were a great idea for their first night as a married couple. Goddamn fish sticks! Suddenly he cannot stop staring at her dead tooth,  
“Hey, I love you” She told him with a very wide smile.  
“Uh, I love you” He said back, slightly grimacing. 

Maureen finally walked away and he took a few seconds to breathe and really absorb the situation that he had miraculously gotten himself into. He knew that there was no way that he was going to be able to go meet up with Mac and Charlie now. Fuck, he was going to be stuck here for all eternity with this woman who wore cat sweaters and thought fish sticks were a five-star meal. He texted Charlie and said:  
**Sorry man, I won’t be able to make it tonight. The ol’ ball and chain y’know?**

After firing off the text, Dennis laid his phone down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. He was going to accept his fate quietly, and hoped that he would be able to realign his life sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It really is something that even in canon Dennis couldn't go his first night of marriage before needing to reunite himself with the guys. Any comments/kudos are appreciated. Find me @macdentrash on tumblr.


	7. Our First Night Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A totally necessary dream sequence.

Later that night after suffering through the first Terminator movie with Maureen, and staring at her from across the couch while she plowed her way through multiple plates of fish sticks, Dennis half-heartedly consummated his marriage (holding his breath to avoid the smell, and doing his best to keep his depressing thoughts at bay) and then rolled over to his side of the bed and feigned sleep. At first Maureen tried to get him to cuddle with her or some shit but she gave up after a few minutes.

Once Maureen was asleep, Dennis was kept awake by his thoughts. How the fuck did his day end like this? Just this morning he was worrying about Mac not checking in, Maureen Ponderosa had been the furthest thing from his mind and yet here he was. God, why did Mac have to be so wrapped up in his religious bullshit? If he could have just shut his mouth about Jesus and marriage, he wouldn’t even be in this situation. 

Thinking about all of this marriage shit was really making it hard for Dennis to fall asleep, he wondered where Mac was sleeping now that Dennis had kicked him out. Maybe he was at Dee’s or at Frank and Charlie’s. He hoped that he was safe where ever he was, he would definitely feel like a real piece of shit if Mac got stabbed while sleeping under a bridge or some shit. Dennis’ eyelids started to droop and his consciousness started to slip little by little. 

_Dennis was laying in his bed, looking at the warm evening sunlight streaming through the windows. He felt happy and at peace like he could just lie in the bed forever as time passed him by and he could just stay in the golden light, watching as the beams slightly shifted every so often. He’s distracted from the golden light by soft footsteps. He turns toward his bedroom door, and Mac walks through it. It’s Dennis’ favorite version of Mac, he looks like he just woke up from a nap and his hair looks all soft. For once, Mac is silent and he just makes his way over to lay down next to Dennis on the bed. They just lie there together for a while and watch the light move, Dennis lays his head on Mac’s chest and Mac runs his fingers through Dennis’ hair. Mac presses a kiss to Dennis’ forehead._

Dennis is woken up by an alarm going off, and he looks around groggily. He glances to the other side of the bed, and just for a moment he forgets the events of the day previous. Before his eyes focus all he can see on the other side of the bed is a vague human figure with brown hair, for a moment his chest warms but then his eyes focus and Maureen rolls over to where he can clearly see the features of her face. 

He stares up at the ceiling, rubs his eyes and mouths _fuck_ before rolling out of bed to start his day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly just self indulgent fluff to fill in some of the timeline but I love soft Dennis so what can I say.   
> So this fic is now going to transition from the events of "Mac Fights Gay Marriage" to the events of "Dennis gets Divorced" so hold on to your hats boys and girls.  
> Any comments/kudos are appreciated. Find me @macdentrash on tumblr


	8. Let’s Get Our Hetero On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting with the first couple of scenes from Dennis Gets Divorced, with my own interpretation. This fic is only going to get gayer as time goes on, we’re getting there!

Dennis had just escaped his bedroom (and therefore Maureen) but not before he had playfully pretended to choke her out from across the room. He laughed while he did it and he wouldn’t _actually_ hurt her but he did need to get the fuck out of the apartment as soon as possible. 

As he walked down to the Range Rover, Dennis thought through the last couple of days. Life with Maureen should be making him happy, he has his high school dream girl all to himself and he finally kicked Mac out of the apartment. So why is he so unhappy?

Dennis knows deep down why he’s not happy in his marriage or in his life. He could feel the way his heart lurched just thinking about Mac, and the prospect of seeing him at work is really the only reason that he’s going into Paddy’s today anyways (other than to get away from Maureen). 

He knows that Mac is probably pissed at him for kicking him out and that he’s going to have to make it up to him in some way or another but right now he’s not sure how to do that. Dennis had never been the kind of person to apologize for his actions even when (well let’s be real, _especially_ when) those actions negatively affected other people. 

During the short drive to Paddy’s he can’t think of anything practical that he could do to make up for his actions. He knows it probably won’t take much for Mac to forgive him, Mac loves him too much. 

Dennis parked in front of the bar and headed inside. Charlie and Frank were already arguing about their bullshit domestic partnership, an argument he chimed in to but doesn’t really care about. Dee walked in and she seems to really be over confident these days, what with her sunglasses and talk of brand new cars. 

Dennis asked Charlie and Frank some more questions about their whole “marriage” but his attention was really on Mac who had just started to clean himself in the bar sink. And no Dennis thought to himself, he is not distracted that Mac’s shirt is off, he couldn’t give less of a shit. He wondered if Mac was working out more now that Dennis had kicked him out of the apartment. 

“Hey, why the hell are you bathing yourself in the sink?” Dennis asked Mac.

“Because I don’t have a home anymore. So this is where I take a shower. This is where I live Dennis” Mac said angrily in reply, like Dennis was an idiot for even asking. 

Dennis is about to reply when Dee’s phone goes off and Frank starts to ask him stupid questions. 

“Dennis back me up on this, you got a pre-nup with Maureen right?” Frank asked. 

“Uh, no I did not. Should I have?” Dennis replied. 

“Should you have? You are screwed!” Frank said.

After this short interaction with Frank, Dennis listens to the rest of the gang go back and forth with Dee about her little affair with Bill Ponderosa and they called her a hypocrite. Dennis and Dee knew each other well enough that Dennis knew if they continued this line of conversation, Dee would start calling him a hypocrite for all sorts of things and he really didn’t need her pointing out that him and Mac had basically been married their whole adult lives and he had just kicked him to the curb for some girl from high school. Dennis pushed back these thoughts before saying:  
“Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys all this talk about Marriage and Dee being such a whore has got me thinking—I never got a bachelor party. We should go to the strip club”

“Right now?” Mac said incredulously while finishing the act of pulling on his ‘Detroit’ shirt. Dennis tries to the ignore the feeling in his stomach when he can still hear the anger in Mac’s voice. Whenever they had gone to strip clubs before they had a good time together and more often than not, him and Mac had slipped into the back and done some very...interesting things together. Dennis was hoping that those memories would make Mac look at him a little softer, but that did not seem to be happening.

“Yeah, immediately. And since you would have been my best man, you should probably throw it for me, yeah” Dennis said with a smile that was just a tad too bright for the situation. 

“What? No way dude, I’m still so pissed at you for throwing me out of the apartment” Mac said with a mix of anger and disbelief in his voice. 

“Yeah, and I’m still pissed about you not throwing me a bachelor party. So this way, I figure we’ll be even” Dennis said. He hoped Mac took the bait, Dennis mostly just wanted to hang out with him and the rest of the gang so he could forget about the mistake of a marriage he had waiting for him back at the apartment. His and Mac’s apartment, which he had totally fucked up. 

Frank agreed to go the strip club, claiming he needed to get his “hetero on”. Dennis thought that was ironic because his main goal of going there was to try to get back into Mac’s good graces even slightly, so he was definitely not going to be getting his “hetero on” in any way, shape or form.

Dee decided to stay behind, mumbling something about going out to test her new wheels. Frank and Charlie decided to take Frank’s car and they headed out the door of Paddy’s. 

“I’ll just walk over there and meet you guys” Mac said, clearly still angry at Dennis. 

Dennis walked over to Mac at the bar and said: “Come on man, it’s a pretty far walk. Just ride with me” he gave Mac a soft smile. 

Mac looked at him with a confused look. “Are you sure you’re not going to kick me out of the car halfway there?” Mac asked in a sarcastic tone. That stung Dennis a little bit, but he accepted that he deserved it. 

“I promise, now come on! We have my bachelor party to get to” Dennis said. He grabbed Mac’s arm and led him out the door of the bar and out to the Range Rover. Mac climbed reluctantly into the passengers seat and closed the door. Dennis couldn’t help thinking once he settled down into the drivers seat that him and Mac were back where they belonged, right next to each other. 

They drove most of the way to the club with nothing but Phil Collins’ voice filling up the space of the car. Once they were parked in front of the club, which felt odd as it was still fairly early in the day, Dennis turned to Mac. 

“I’m sorry that I kicked you out of the apartment man” Dennis said so softly it was almost unnoticeable.

Mac raised his left eyebrow at him before saying: “Yeah? Well if you felt that bad you would tell me to come home. Fuck, if you weren’t such an asshole you would’ve never kicked me out for anyone anyways, let alone some chick with a dead tooth from high school”. With that, Mac climbed out of the car and started walking towards the club. When he didn’t hear any movement behind him he looked back over his shoulder. 

“Come on, we have your bachelor party to get to” Mac said in a tone that was half angry and half defeated. 

Dennis’ heart sunk lower. This isn’t what he’d wanted at all, Mac still hated him and the shitty part was that Dennis couldn’t even blame it on Mac’s stupidity as he normally would. This was all his fault and he knew it, he’d really fucked it all up this time. It wasn’t going to be as easy a fix as he had thought. 

Dennis sighed before climbing out of his car and he started to follow Mac into the club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered how they all got to the strip club and in the episode it seems that Frank and Charlie went together so that only leaves me assume that Dennis drove Mac. Next chapter will get into the strip club scene! Find me @macdentrash on tumblr. Please yell at me if the next chapter isn’t up in a timely fashion:)


	9. Want to Get Dirty?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strip club scene! Title is from the song playing at the very beginning of their strip club experience in “Dennis Gets Divorced”.

By the time that Dennis walked into the club, the rest of the guys had already taken over a table. Dennis felt a little pang in his chest when he saw Mac seated next to Charlie, but he tried to ignore it. He made his way over to their table and sat himself down in the seat across from Mac. 

They all sat in relative silence for awhile, taking in the surroundings of strippers and flashing lights. Dennis finally sighed before he waved over a waitress and ordered a round of shots. When she came back a few moments later Dennis put a shot in front of himself and then one in front of each member of the table. 

Dennis slammed down his shot and made a face as it went down. He was happy to feel the pain of the alcohol, anything beat the suffocating awkwardness of his impromptu bachelor party.

After awhile Mac and Charlie started doing Mac’s weird motorcycle dance and Dennis gave his critique that Mac was trying too hard. Things almost seemed back to normal and then Dennis’ phone buzzed.

“Oh, I got a text. I got a text from the woman” Dennis said way too cheerfully.

“‘Miss you’, I’ll just write ‘Miss you, too. Miss you, too’. Now do I write the word too or the number two? What’s the best way to do that when we’re texting back and forth?” Dennis asked nobody in particular. He’s already a little tipsy from the alcohol that they’re consuming. 

“Who cares dude?” Charlie asked in an annoyed voice. 

“I’ll do the word, I’ll do the word” muttered Dennis. 

“Okay great. Frank, what’s with the purse?” Mac said in an irritated tone.

For some reason Dennis found a little bit of joy in annoying Mac like this, he liked that he had the power to make him jealous. 

Frank, Charlie and Mac were talking about the pros and cons of “making it rain”. This gave Dennis an idea.

“I’d like to make it rain. Can I make it rain, Mac?” Dennis asked in a sly tone. He just wanted to see if after all of this Mac would still try do his best to make Dennis happy. He also wanted to know how far he could push this before Mac broke and got angry. 

“Why are you asking me?” Questioned Mac. He looked genuinely confused.

“Well, dude. Cause I can’t fund my own bachelor party. That’s just tacky” Dennis retorted. 

Mac gave Dennis a look before saying:  
“Fine” he called over a stripper that was near by “Excuse me. Hi. What is the recommended amount of money for one to make it rain?” Mac asked inquisitively. 

“I’d say at least a thousand” the girl replied. 

After this Frank started questioning the girl about a couples dance for him and Charlie, they went back and forth for a bit but once the girl told him they would still have to pay full price, Frank walked off talking about making it rain. 

Dennis turned to his phone and saw he had gotten another message. 

“‘Miss you more’. That’s classic Maureen right there” Dennis said. He watched Mac from across the table and the other mans body language had changed completely. Mac had both arms up on the table and he looked frustrated.

“She’s always got to one-up me for some... some reason. And so I’ll write back what?” Dennis asked.

Mac leaned back in his chair and said in a frustrated tone: “I don’t care”

“‘Miss you most’. Can’t get more than most right? So that should...that should be the end of it right? So, I hope so” Dennis said and he set down his phone face down on the table.

Mac rolled his eyes and got up from the table, he looked annoyed and started to walk away. 

“I’ll be right back Charlie” Dennis said before walking after Mac, which was harder than it sounds as Mac was speed walking across the strip club. 

“Hey man, wait up!” Dennis called after him. 

Mac didn’t turn around, he walked out of the back door of the strip club and into the alley. Dennis quickly followed out the door, the metal slamming shut behind him. When he looked around the alley, he saw Mac sitting down on a crate on the opposite side, a lit cigarette in his hand.

“C’mon man, it’s bad enough that you dragged me to this and made me pay for it, but now I can’t even smoke alone when I clearly wanted some space?” Mac asked with a mix of annoyance and anger in his voice.

Dennis was staring to regret his plan to evoke Mac’s anger. Dennis was unsure what to say. This was new territory for him, usually Mac forgave him right away and they easily went back to the way things were between them, but Mac seemed really angry this time. 

“I’m sorry for following you, I just wanted to talk to you man. In the car you pretty much ignored me and you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder all day” Dennis said. He had decided to be honest because he didn’t think his usual manipulation tactics were going to work in this situation. 

“Dennis what the fuck do you expect from me? To be happy for you? Maybe I would be if you hadn’t been such a dick about everything, if you hadn’t kicked me out like a piece of garbage and acted like you had every right to treat me like that. I don’t deserve that Dennis” Mac said, he sounded both angry and exhausted like he had played this scene out in his head and it was going exactly the way that he had expected. Sometime during his speech Mac had stood up and he was now trying to pass Dennis to get back into the club. Mac’s face held a mixture of anger and defeat, and when his arm brushed Dennis’ they both felt a warm current pass between them.

Dennis grabbed Mac’s arm in a grip and spun him around so that they were face to face. Mac lifted an eyebrow at him, questioning what was going to happen next. 

Before Dennis could think about it too much he lifted his hand up and brushed his fingers under Mac’s chin, letting his thumb caress the other mans bottom lip. Mac looked like he was going to say something, but before he got the chance Dennis tilted Mac’s chin up and brushed a tender kiss to his mouth. 

On instinct Mac melted into the kiss. He wove his fingers into Dennis’ curls and pulled their mouths closer together. They kissed deep and passionate for a few moments, it could’ve been minutes or seconds but either way it felt like forever. 

Suddenly Mac pulled away and Dennis felt his body protest at the loss, wanting to pull Mac closer until they were completely inseparable. He was about to protest but stopped when he saw Mac open his mouth to speak.

“What the hell Dennis? You don’t get to do that anymore, you don’t get to play with my emotions and my head and shit even though I know that’s your favorite thing in the world. You’re married now, and I can’t do this with you so just stop” Mac said. Mac pushed past Dennis and went back into the dark club. 

Dennis stood there for a moment and contemplated the situation. Absentmindedly he brushed his thumb against his lips, still feeling a faint buzz of electricity there. Dennis knew that he needed to fix the situation and fix it soon before he lost the person who had been by his side since high school. 

Dennis sighed deeply and headed back into the club, closing the door softly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated:) find me @macdentrash on tumblr.


	10. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Dennis!

Once Dennis made his way back to the table, he saw Mac and Charlie are already there. The second thing that registered in Dennis’ mind was that there was a stripper talking to Mac and they seemed to be _flirting_. The girl’s fingers flitted along Mac’s forearm and he smiled up at her. 

Dennis thought of those arms wrapped around him out in the alley, those fingers in his hair while him and Mac... Dennis was pulled out of his thoughts when he saw Mac get up out of his chair and follow the stripper into a private room in the back of the club. Dennis fought the overwhelming urge to follow them, he imagined himself busting in there and grabbing Mac away before the stripper could touch him. Dennis wanted to get Mac and leave the club, go somewhere they could be alone but he knew that wasn’t going to happen while Mac was angry with him. 

Dennis sat down at the table and looked at Charlie. He hoped Charlie couldn’t tell that Dennis had jealousy boiling underneath his skin to the point that he wanted to throw something. Charlie may not be literate but he was plenty good at reading emotions. 

“What’s up with that?” Dennis asked and jutted his chin towards the back room that Mac had disappeared into. 

“Dude, I think you know exactly what that’s about” Charlie said and gave him a knowing look. 

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” Dennis asked with a bite to his tone. 

Charlie rolled his eyes. “Cmon man, are you gonna make me spell it out for you?” Charlie asked. 

Dennis pushed himself out of his chair and away from the table. He didn’t need to listen to this, Charlie didn’t know half of what he thought he knew. 

Dennis stalked across the room and up to the first stripper that he laid his eyes on.

“Hey, how much?” Dennis asked the stripper.

“For what baby?” The stripper asked in a sultry tone.

“For what...whatever it is that you do” Dennis said, slurring his words a bit.

“20 bucks for a regular lap dance, 50 for the personal room and the price goes up from there” answered the woman. 

“Just the regular one is fine” Dennis said and sat down on a nearby chair. He pulled a wrinkled 20 out of his wallet and handed it to the woman.

“Thanks baby, lets get started” she said.

The whole thing lasted about 5 minutes and Dennis wasn’t even paying attention, his focus was... _elsewhere_. He thought the $20 was well spent though because right at the end of his lap dance, Mac walked out of the back and glanced over at them. Mac quickly looked away and took his place next to Charlie but Dennis knew, he had seen. 

Once the stripper walked away, Dennis got up and made his way back over to the table. Mac and Charlie both looked exhausted, and when Dennis looked for Frank he was nearby “making it rain” which was honestly just really pathetic. 

“Hurricane Frank, gonna make it rain! Better run for your lives!” Frank said and then yelled at a stripper for getting too close to his rain money.

Mac was running a hand through his hair and had one arm up on the table, he looked ready to go home. Charlie just looked tired and annoyed.

“Can you believe this guy?” Charlie asked, referencing Frank’s display. 

Dennis’ phone beeped loudly. “Oh look, I have another text from Maureen! Terrific, this ones just a smiley face. That’s nice huh? How do I respond to that? What is that... is that a question? I want to smash her thumbs!” Dennis said in a tone that increased steadily in annoyance.

“Calm down” Mac said with an amused half smile. 

“I do not like marriage, I do not like it!” Dennis exclaimed. 

“I thought you were happy” Mac said in response, like he couldn’t believe Dennis was acting in such a manner.

“No, I’m not a happy man Mac. I am not a happy man” Dennis said. He tossed back more of the beer in front of him and gave Mac a look. 

Frank came over and interrupted the conversation, “I got what I came for, I’m ready to go home”

“Well no one is stopping you” Charlie said in a passive aggressive tone. 

“Are you coming with?” Frank asked Charlie.

“No I’m not coming with, why don’t you go home alone?” Charlie asked Frank. Charlie was still mad at Frank for treating him lesser and not giving him money to make it rain.

Frank walked away and then Charlie turned to Mac asking for money so that he could get a cab home, in order to show Frank that Charlie didn’t need him. 

“You clearly do need him!” Mac said to Charlie.

“That’s why I need money Mac! So money please, give me some money!” Charlie replied. 

“Charlie I’m completely broke, we should get out of here” Mac said. This caught Dennis’ attention.

“What? Already?” Dennis asked, he did not feel ready to go home and spend another night next to Maureen. Dennis was determined to stay at the club as long as he could.

“We’ve been here for _fifteen hours_ ”Mac said.

“We’ve been here a very long time man” Charlie chimes in, agreeing with Mac. 

“Oh oh oh” Dennis said, clearly drunk.   
“Well, let’s bring the party back to my place. You could sleep over dude, it’d be just like old times” Dennis said to Mac.

“It would be nice to sleep in a bed again...”Mac said. Dennis knew that Maureen had turned Mac’s room into a “craft studio” but he chose not to mention that.

“Oh yeah, that’s the spirit!” Dennis said excitedly. 

“Oh, okay, that’s good. Let me think about this for a second. A sleepover could make Frank very jealous, and that’s going to give me the upper hand. But then again...that’s totally the type of thing he could use against me... I don’t know what do you think Mac?” Charlie rambled. When he turned to look at Mac, he saw that both he and Dennis had vanished. Charlie made a knowing face and clicked his tongue before getting up to leave the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I referenced the deleted scene, no I’m not sorry about it. All I can say for the next chapter is: the boys are back in town! Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated. Find me @macdentrash on tumblr.


	11. The Boys Are Back in Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but this chapter relies heavily on dialogue from canon so it’s a tad redundant but it’s a pivotal moment so what can ya do. Dennis tells Maureen he wants a divorce and him and Mac flee the scene together.

Dennis and Mac giggled all the way back to their apartment (Dennis thought of the apartment as “theirs” on autopilot), they were both goofy drunk but not totally trashed. 

Mac leaned into Dennis as they made their way up the stairs, Dennis smiled to himself at the movement and sidled up closer to Mac. 

“The boys are back in town Mac!” Dennis said and gave Mac a warm, alcohol soaked smile. 

“Hell yeah they are bro!” Mac said back enthusiastically. 

They both started shouting the lyrics to one of their favorite songs, stumbling as they walked up to Dennis’ (their) apartment and bumping shoulders as they walked. Dennis squeezed Mac’s arm reassuringly before he unlocked the apartment door and stomped in wildly. 

They sang the chorus to “the boys are back in town” loudly, stomping and dancing through the living room and into the kitchen. Mac flailed his arms so strongly that some of his beer flew through the air before landing on the ground, and Dennis kicked a kitchen chair haphazardly. 

“Whoo!” Mac bellowed. 

“Dennis!” Maureen said in an annoyed voice, she started to exit Dennis’ room. She was in pajamas and looked annoyed.

“Hey!” Mac and Dennis yelled in unison, still giddy from the alcohol. 

“What are you doing? It is 2:00 in the morning. I was sleeping, Dennis” Maureen said in an accusatory voice. 

Mac looked at Maureen with a worried expression, starting to realize the awkward situation that he had thrown himself in. He remembered now that Dennis had a wife. 

“That’s cool. Well, you’re up now, baby girl, so let’s do some shots” Dennis said in a slurred voice, he and Mac laughed. 

Maureen looked at them, judgement in her brown eyes (how did Dennis ever think those eyes, brimming with contempt could ever compare to those of Mac’s which always stared at him with reverence and a hint of joy?).  
“No I don’t drink. You know that. I think it makes people look ugly” Maureen said in a haughty voice. 

Mac and Dennis both looked at Maureen with confused expressions, they must look ugly to her all the time since they drank so much. 

Mac realized that he didn’t really want to be in this situation, in between Dennis and his wife. 

Mac gestured behind himself and said  
“Maybe I should go to my room”

Maureen stared at him, annoyed.  
“That is not your room anymore. It is my craft studio, so kindly stay out of there” 

At this, Mac looked behind him and saw his room covered in art supplies and ugly cat sweatshirts. 

“What?!” Mac asked, unhappy with what he saw. 

Dennis reached for Mac’s shoulder to comfort him, “Don’t freak out, dude. It’s-it’s-it’s all good, dude. She turned it into her craft studio where she makes terrible sweatshirts out of cats... or puts cats in sweatshirts, and then... I’m, like, ‘Dude what the hell did you do?’” Dennis said quickly.

“What? Dennis, do not talk to me that way. I am your wife. Please show me some respect in front of your friends” Maureen said, sounding hurt but assertive. 

At the word “friends” Dennis glanced down at Mac who was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. He didn’t think the word “friend” was the right word to describe his and Mac’s relationship. “Friends” aren’t as wrapped up in each other as they are, and “friends” definitely don’t melt at each other’s touch the way Mac and Dennis both do. 

“Uh, you know what? I’m not entirely certain that you are my wife cause I remember marrying Maureen Ponderosa. And you are no Maureen Ponderosa” Dennis said, pointing his finger accusingly. 

During this exchange Mac looked up at Dennis with confusion and a little hope. He looked at Maureen, wondering what her response would be to Dennis’ little rant, Mac knew what to expect when dealing with Dennis and Maureen did not. This thought made him gloat a bit to himself. 

“That doesn’t even... I don’t know what that... What?” Maureen asked, confused just as Mac knew she would be. 

“Divorce!” Dennis yelled loudly. Taking everyone, himself included by surprise. Mac allowed himself to hope, just a little bit.

“What? What did you just say?” Maureen asked, a pained expression on her face.

“I will divorce you, Maureen. I’ll do it” Dennis said, a little too loudly. Mac looked up at him with a small smirk across his lips. 

“Okay, you’re drunk. Why don’t we just go to bed...?” Maureen said.

Dennis smiled at her. “I’m not drunk. I’m more sober than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Okay, I’m a little bit drunk. I’m totally drunk, but my mind is sober. And my mind’s telling me the following: I don’t love you, Maureen” Dennis glanced at Mac behind him who stared back with his big brown eyes, eyebrows raised.  
“I don’t love you, I never loved you” Dennis hoped the look he gave Mac was as meaningful as he intended it to be.

Dennis looked back at Maureen, “you’re annoying and you’re strange” he finished.

“I don’t know what to say” Maureen said, sounding tired.  
“Don’t say anything cause every time you open your mouth, I’m, like, ‘Ugh!’” Dennis and Mac chuckled together.  
“It’s like her breath...” Dennis started  
“Ugh!” Mac groaned in agreement.  
“It’s like always so bad. It’s like a dead tooth. It’s the dead tooth. I’m saying it now. I’ll say it. You have a dead tooth. You realize that right? And I hate it, and it’s annoying!” Dennis finished. Mac laughed at this.

Maureen looked at the two men in the kitchen, eyes glancing between them. 

“I want you and your boy toy out of my apartment now!” Maureen said, voice rising in anger. 

Dennis pointed to Mac and they both started laughing loudly. Mac looked up at Dennis through his laughter and Dennis moved closer, grabbing a bottle of liquor as he did so.

“I’m the boy toy!” Mac said between giggles.  
“You’re my boy toy!” Dennis laughed in response, like they had an inside joke Maureen could never wrap her mind around. 

“You know, I’m not gonna leave our apartment. Or should I say my apartment cause it’s my apartment” Dennis said snidely, glancing back over at Maureen like he had forgotten she was there for a moment. Mac looked at Maureen and gave her a catty smile. 

“Oh yeah? How about if you guys don’t leave, I call the cops and I tell em you beat me?” Maureen said in response, angry.

Mac looked at her, alarm written across his features.  
“What in the hell are you talking about? I didn’t touch you” Dennis asked, confused. 

Maureen started to pound her fist into her chest, a determined look on her face. Mac and Dennis both stared at her, completely lost on where she was going with this line of action. 

“What...? What are you doing? What is that? I recognize that... what is that?” He asked Maureen and turned to Mac in his confusion.  
“Oh shit, that’s from... that’s from Fear, dude.” Mac said, urgency in his tone.  
“Oh, that’s Marky Mark!” Dennis responded.  
“That’s what Marky Mark does. He does that, and then, um...” Mac said, standing up.  
“Oh, shit, and then the cops come, and then he... oh and the police think that William Petersen, the guy from CSI...” Dennis said, alarmed, punctuating his words with a finger to Mac’s chest.

Mac put his hand on Dennis’ shoulder and started guiding him to the door of the apartment.  
“Go. She means business. She means business” Mac said, Maureen continued pounding her fist to her chest, the _thwack_ growing louder with each hit.  
“Shit! Oh shit! Ah!” Dennis mumbled as he exited the door, Mac following quickly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are appreciated :) find me @macdentrash on tumblr (my inbox is open for macdennis prompts)!  
> *The next chapter is going to lean on canon significantly less so hang in there for me!*


	12. Mac and Dennis Make Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bad men make out, this is not a drill! Mac and Dennis make up in their own way, sexual content warning from this chapter on.

Once they were safely out of their apartment, and away from Maureen’s dangerously impressive Marky Mark impression, Mac and Dennis fell into step with each other and Dennis opened the door to walk down the stairwell. 

Once they had made it down the first flight, Mac stopped in his tracks and leaned against the once white cement wall that had aged into a dusty light gray color. Dennis was about to head down the next stairway when he noticed the lack of Mac’s body heat beside him. Dennis turned around and looked at Mac with one eyebrow quirked up, questioning. 

“Are you coming Mac? Is right now really the best time to take a breather? I want to get as far away from this apartment building, and that crazy bitch as possible” Dennis asked, the words were rude but there was no real bite behind them. 

Mac stared at Dennis for a long moment, eyes flickering from his eyes down to his lips and up again. 

“Did you mean it?” Mac asked softly, he averted his gaze from Dennis like he was embarrassed by the question.

“What are you talking about?” Dennis asked, genuinely confused, there were a lot of things that vague question could pertain to.

“Did you mean it? Did you mean it when you said you don’t love her, that you never loved her? Are you really going to get a divorce?” Mac asked, his voice started out quiet and grew in volume as he spoke. 

The stairwell they stood in wasn’t very big, but Dennis still strode forward and closed the space between Mac and himself anyways. He looked at his best friend and his chest warmed up in the way only Mac’s presence could stir in him, Mac’s eyes were downcast and his features were shadowed due to the dimly lit nature of the stairwell. 

Dennis reached his hand out and caressed the bottom half of Mac’s face, he put his index finger under the dip of Mac’s chin and tilted his face up. He wanted Mac to look him in the eyes so he would know that he meant the words that were about to tumble out of him.

“Of course I meant it. I never loved her Mac, I don’t want to be near her for a goddamn second to be quite honest. For a minute I thought I might need her to fill some fantasy of marrying the girl I dated in high school, but honestly I’d much rather spend time with you and the gang than her. I’d rather live with you than her most definitely, even if you annoy the shit out of me sometimes” Dennis said, he gave Mac a small smile.

Mac looked up at him with something akin to joy in his eyes, he reached out and started to stroke small patterns onto Dennis’ chest with his pointer finger, wrinkling and then smoothing out the fabric of his button up. 

“That’s... good to hear. I didn’t really understand why you got married so out of the blue in the first place” Mac said, questioning.

Dennis sighed, “Mac, I went to see Maureen because of you” he admitted.

“Because of me? Why would I want you to go see her?” Mac asked, he looked up at Dennis with confusion glinting in his eyes. 

“I went because I was angry with you. You came into Paddy’s and started shitting all over marriage and shit and being homophobic and I guess that it just set me off into thinking I should find Maureen and try to rekindle something there” Dennis said sheepishly. 

He waited for the blow up, for Mac to shove Dennis out of his personal space and jump back into ranting about the sins of homosexuality and all of that Jesus, biblical crap but it didn’t come. Mac just stared at Dennis slack jawed before reaching his hand up to run his fingers through Dennis’ curls, the way Dennis had been dreaming about for days. 

“Den, I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings. It didn’t even cross my mind that you might think...” Mac trailed off, he bit his lip, nervous. 

Dennis leaned down, closer into Mac’s space, their mouths were so close that Dennis could feel the small and nervous puffs coming out of Mac’s parted lips every few seconds.   
“It didn’t cross your mind that I would think...?” Dennis asked in a whisper, he stroked his hand up and down Mac’s side while he waited for a response. 

“That you would think that I don’t... want you. God Dennis, I was so fucking jealous of that chick that I couldn’t handle it, it was driving me crazy. You’re the only thing I think about, and I just don’t want you to think that I... don’t want this” Mac said quietly. His eyes fluttered up from the space on the cement floor that he had focused on while talking and he looked into Dennis’ eyes, trying to figure out what the other man was thinking.

Dennis didn’t say anything, just stared back at Mac with a look in his eyes that Mac couldn’t quite place. Mac ran his fingers through Dennis’ hair and then allowed his fingers to skim down the other man’s neck until his hand had run itself all the way onto Dennis’ lower back. 

“You really want me?” Dennis asked quietly, like this was something he knew the answer to but didn’t think Mac would ever admit. 

Instead of answering the question directly, Mac let his next actions answer for him. The hand that was resting on the small of Dennis’ back pulled him in impossibly closer, Mac used his other hand to wrap his fingers possessively into Dennis’ soft curls in order to guide the other mans lips down to his in a very soft brushing of their lips. 

Dennis hummed happily at this movement and he rested his own hands onto the sides of Mac’s face. 

“Do that again” Dennis whispered, letting Mac know that he was allowed.

Dennis didn’t need to tell Mac twice. Mac wound his fingers tighter into Dennis’ curls until it had to hurt at least a little bit, and surged forward with a sense of urgency that hadn’t been there a moment before. 

Mac parted Dennis’ warm lips with his tongue and Dennis let out a low groan almost immediately. Dennis opened his mouth wider to allow Mac’s tongue to explore everywhere, to roam over his taste buds until all he could taste was _Mac, Mac, Mac._ Dennis kissed back enthusiastically, being with Mac was always a heightened experience for him and it made him wonder why he ever wasted time with anybody else. 

Mac was the one who let out a deep whine in his throat this time as Dennis’ long fingers reached into Mac’s hair and pulled him closer while he hauled them together by wrapping his other arm around Mac’s waste. Dennis allowed his own tongue to flick out and stroke Mac’s and then gave him the sloppiest, dirtiest kiss either of them had ever experienced.

They were both making loud noises that echoed around the stairwell but neither of them could calm themselves down enough to stop or to even give a shit in the first place. 

Mac took his mouth off of Dennis’ after several minutes of intensely making out, both of them keening into the other. Dennis made a questioning noise as Mac’s warm mouth moved away from him but the noise quickly turned into a deep groan as Mac ran kisses down Dennis’ neck alternating between small kisses and deep suction that was certain to leave marks, he trailed the kisses down to Dennis’ collarbone and then back up again until Dennis was shuddering. Dennis pulled Mac up and kissed him deeply, murmuring sweet things in to his ear.

Mac moved his hands to Dennis’ chest, roaming at first but quickly moving to undo the buttons of his shirt. Mac needed them to be closer, to feel Dennis’ heartbeat thrum against his skin. 

Dennis let out a small laugh.  
“Don’t laugh at me Dennis” Mac pouted and trailed more kisses onto Dennis’ exposed throat.   
“You’re just... you” Dennis chuckled fondly and laced their fingers together, squeezing lightly.   
“And you were trying to take off my shirt Mac, and no matter how much I want you to do that... we cannot have sex in a stairwell” Dennis chided him.  
“Mm, we can’t?” Mac asked, laughing a little now himself.  
“No, I think the other tenants and the landlord may have something against two guys doing it in the stairwell” Dennis said, his resolve wavering a bit as Mac’s hands slid up his shirt and explored wherever they damn well pleased.   
“Well if we can’t do it here, let’s go somewhere...else” Mac said, giving Dennis a knowing smile.

Dennis didn’t hesitate when he backed Mac further up against the cement wall and kissed him again, hard. Dennis positioned his body in a way that their entire upper and lower torsos ground together. They stayed like that for several lust filled moments before Dennis brought his hand up to Mac’s face and caressed him gently. 

Dennis kept his hand on Mac’s face as he slowly pulled away, Mac groaned at the loss of Dennis’ mouth on his. 

Dennis ran his hands through Mac’s hair, ruffling it softly.   
“Wanna get out of here?” Dennis asked in a low voice. 

Mac nodded quickly. Mac wrapped his right arm around Dennis’ torso protectively, like he was scared that Dennis would disappear at any moment as they finally descended the second staircase together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, comments/kudos are always appreciated. We all know as soon as they left the apartment they went to bang, sorry I don’t make the rules.


	13. Back to Paddys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow this is self indulgent smut so fair warning if you’re not into that kind of thing. If you are into that, please enjoy some tenderness.

The air in the Range Rover during the short drive to Paddy’s was filled with a ridiculous amount of tension. Dennis’ thoughts were so swept up in the anticipation of getting his hands back on Mac that he didn’t even think to pop a CD into the player to fill the air with something other than their lust fueled thoughts. 

While at a stop light, Mac reached his hand over tentatively and brushed his fingers against Dennis’ thigh. Dennis was embarrassed at the sharp intake of his breath at the light touch. The noise must have encouraged Mac though because he let his fingers dance lower down Dennis’ thigh. When the light turned green, Dennis almost had trouble moving the car forward because he was so focused on Mac’s hand on him.

God, Dennis thought to himself, he was really desperate for it huh? Being away from Mac for the last few days had been awful, but now that they were together again the chemistry between them had peaked unfathomable heights. 

Dennis pulled his attention away from the hand that was still exploring the thighs that Mac loved so much, and chanced a glance over at Mac beside him. Even though it was getting to be around 3 AM, Mac looked wired. Mac looked distracted like his thoughts were completely removed from the present moment, Mac ran his tongue slightly over his bottom lip, lost in thought. 

It struck Dennis suddenly what Mac must be thinking about, it should’ve been obvious but Dennis was so wrapped up in his own sinful thoughts that he hadn’t even thought to worry what was going on in Mac’s head. For some reason, thinking about Mac wanting him was driving him crazy. 

Dennis parked the car haphazardly (and illegally) in front of the bar, he frankly couldn’t give less of a shit about getting a ticket at this point. Dennis and Mac both removed their seatbelts quickly, fumbling a little bit in the urgency and they hopped out of the Range Rover wordlessly. 

Dennis met Mac on the passengers side of the Range Rover and they walked towards the doors of Paddy’s together, their arms brushing each other as they walked. 

Dennis almost dropped his keys trying to find the right one and get it into the lock, he finally got the door of Paddy’s to swing open and he shoved his keys back into his pocket. Mac raised an eyebrow at Dennis and encircled his fingers around his wrist, Mac gently pulled Dennis into the bar and hastily closed the door behind them. 

Once they were alone in the utterly empty bar Mac stared at Dennis for a long moment, seemingly drinking in his features. Dennis stared back at Mac, waiting, his eyes never leaving Mac’s full pink lips. 

“Oh my God, get over here already” Dennis said, fondness seeping through his tone. 

Mac smiled at him, a ray of light in the dim bar. Mac walked towards Dennis, closing the small gap that had been between them. Mac reached his hand up and twirled a lock of Dennis’ hair around his finger, he pressed his chest against the other mans and stared up at him, eyes wide.   
“Mm like this?” Mac asked, feigning innocence.   
Dennis wrapped an arm around Mac’s waist, his hand resting at the small of his back, and smirked at him.  
“Do you always have to be a smart ass?” Dennis asked, pretending to be annoyed.

Before Mac could utter a response to Dennis’ rhetorical question, Dennis used the hand that wasn’t resting on Mac’s back to tilt his chin up. Mac’s breath audibly hitched and he stared up at Dennis waiting, his pupils blown wide. 

“Jesus Christ” Dennis sighed. Dennis was the one who moved in this time, leaning his face down and giving Mac a tender kiss. Mac responded immediately, leaning up into the kiss. Mac put his hand on the back of Dennis’ neck and crushed their lips together harder. 

They melted together, one indistinguishable from the other. Dennis let his hands roam over Mac’s arms, his back and finally he reached his hands under the front of Mac’s shirt and explored his bare chest, he could feel Mac’s heartbeat thrumming beneath his skin. Mac groaned at the caresses, he kept one hand wound up in Dennis’ curls and used the other to encircle his waist. Mac started to step forward, his lips never left Dennis’ as he walked Dennis back against the nearest wall. Dennis groaned as Mac pushed him against the wall, kissing him deeply. 

Dennis reached both hands under the hem of Mac’s shirt which was pressed between them. He lifted up insistently until Mac took the hint and backed up just enough that Dennis could lift the shirt over Mac’s head. Once he finally got the shirt off of Mac, Dennis hurled it across the bar and brought Mac in to kiss him again. 

Dennis ran his hands over Mac’s now bare torso, he was so warm and alive and _there_ that Dennis couldn’t think about anything else. Mac reached up and started to quickly fumble with the buttons of Dennis’ shirt.

“Why are these things so goddamn difficult to take off?” Mac muttered under his breath, impatient. 

“It’s not that they’re difficult to remove per se, it’s that you’re trying to do it at a very unreasonable speed” Dennis answered between the brushing of their lips.

Mac broke apart from Dennis and gave him a smug look before saying “Dennis that’s because I’m trying to do _you_ at an unreasonable speed” he chuckled lightly.

“Wow I made that way too easy for you to make that joke” Dennis said and then he quickly added “and don’t say I’m too easy or I’m going to hurt you”.

Mac chose not to say anything at all, during this short conversation he had finally gotten all of the buttons undone and he moved in to kiss Dennis again while he moved his hands under the shirt and slid it off Dennis’ shoulders until it hit the ground. Dennis and Mac both groaned when their naked upper bodies pressed together. 

“We need to move this away from this wall but there is absolutely not going to be anywhere comfortable in this godforsaken bar” Dennis breathed into Mac’s mouth.

“Mm, well not to bring up anything touchy but since I’ve been living here the last few days there’s a pretty nice air mattress set up in the back office” Mac said and quirked his eyebrow at Dennis.

Dennis wordlessly grabbed Mac’s hand and pulled him into the back office, the door closing behind them hurriedly. 

The air mattress was pretty nice, Dennis thought to himself, and there was even a plush comforter on top that looked extremely comfortable. 

Dennis pulled Mac in and kissed him deeply, they walked together with their lips still intertwined until they fell onto the mattress together. When they fell, Mac landed on top of Dennis and they laid like that for a few long moments. Mac laid on top of Dennis so that their chests were still pressed together and Mac ran his hands through Dennis’ hair. 

Dennis reached down and unbuttoned Mac’s pants and Mac lifted his hips to allow his lower half to be stripped down. Once the pants were happily discarded, Mac did the same to Dennis until they were both down to their boxers. They both made truly pathetic noises when they pressed their lower halves together without the extra layer. 

“Oh my fucking God, take those off now” Dennis murmured in Mac’s ear, pulling at the hem of the boxers.

Mac shivered at Dennis’ breath in his ear and easily complied, taking Dennis’ off immediately after shimmying out of his own boxers. 

They made out for a few more minutes. Roaming their hands wherever they pleased and just taking in and enjoying each others bodies. 

“Are we gonna do this or what?” Dennis asked while running his over Mac’s lower body.

_”Yes”_ Mac said, gasping.

“Do you, like, have anything?” Dennis asked lightly, doing his best to avoid ruining the mood. 

“Just a second” Mac whispered in a throaty voice that just about drove Dennis insane.

Mac rushed over to the desk and pulled open the bottom drawer, he pulled out lube and a condom and hurried back to the air mattress, missing Dennis’ heat against his body. 

When Mac laid back down, he stared at Dennis with wide eyes for several moments. 

“Are you gonna stare at me all night or do you wanna...?” Dennis asked, giving Mac a warm smile. 

“It’s just... you look so beautiful like this and I wanna live in this moment for a really long time” Mac whispered, running his fingers against the line of Dennis’ jaw lightly. 

Dennis almost choked at the compliment, nobody had shown him such unadulterated adoration before in his whole life.

Dennis knew that nothing he could say would properly show his feelings so he just kissed Mac again and keened against him. He pulled Mac’s body flush against his own and they both groaned deeply at the friction.

Mac wordlessly slipped the condom on and ran lube over it. 

Dennis gasped when Mac slipped a finger inside of him while their lips were intertwined. Mac quickly added another finger and crooked his fingers at a very specific angle. 

After a few minutes of preparation, Dennis whispered:  
“I’m ready, please” he whined into Mac’s mouth. 

Mac complied and slowly, very slowly sank into Dennis. They both gasped and kissed again, it was unbelievably euphoric.

Mac slowly picked up his pace and Dennis started to gasp when Mac hit the spot inside of him that made the back of his eyelids burst with color.

Mac alternated between very slow thrusts and quicker spasms. Mac didn’t want to just fuck Dennis he wanted to _make love_ to him, though he would never think to tell Dennis that. Mac wanted to make Dennis feel so much pleasure that no matter who he was with he would crave Mac’s touch, and little did Mac know how successful he was in his endeavor.

They moved together, speeding up as Dennis begged for Mac to keep going, to hit that spot inside of him. They kissed each other tenderly as they came at the same time, Mac inside of Dennis with his hand wrapped around Dennis. 

Dennis groaned when Mac finally pulled out and Mac ran little kisses down Dennis’ shoulder in apology. 

Mac grabbed one of his shirts that he had been keeping in the bar and cleaned them both off. He quickly discarded the garment and wrapped his arms around Dennis, pulling him close. 

They kissed again with less urgency, just enjoying each other in the after glow and melting their warm bodies together. They stayed like that for a long time, not wanting to ruin the moment with dumb jokes and inevitable asshole remarks. 

Eventually Mac grew very sleepy and pulled away lightly, turning the long kisses into short ones and laid his head down on Dennis’ chest, listening to his heart beat. 

Mac quickly fell asleep and Dennis looked down at him with heavy eyes, Mac’s mouth was parted and his hair fell in his eyes. Dennis felt his chest warm with an emotion he was terrified to identify. 

Dennis kissed Mac’s hairline a few times and settled Mac even closer to him. Dennis quickly fell asleep after setting a few alarms on his phone, he did not need the gang finding them entangled together naked in the morning, his chin resting on the top of Mac’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments/kudos are appreciated! Find me @macdentrash on tumblr:)


	14. Back Where We Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter for our heros, and a collective tying up of loose ends. Enjoy!

Dennis woke up to his phone blaring ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ by Rick Astley (what else would a classy man such as himself have as the tune to which he awoke every morning?), and groaned loudly. 

He blinked once, twice, three times, trying desperately to clear the fog that was settled in his brain. What happened last night? He knew for a fact that he had drank copious amounts of alcohol by the pounding in his brain, but he knew that was only one piece to the puzzle. 

Suddenly there was movement on his chest and Dennis startled, looking down. Mac’s eyes were crinkled in his sleep, and he nuzzled further into the warmth of Dennis’ upper body. It all came back to Dennis in a flash: yelling “divorce!” at his wife of less than a week, the stairway of his apartment building, the ride to Paddy’s… these series of events are what lead him to where he is now, on an air mattress in the back of the bar with a sleepy Mac in his arms. Dennis let a small smile work its way onto his face, things could be worse. 

Dennis wrapped both arms around Mac’s torso and slowly rolled him until he had his face snuggled into a pillow. Dennis put the blanket over Mac’s shoulders carefully before slowly and surely climbing off of the air mattress and creeping out the office door. 

Thank God he had the foresight to set alarms on his phone, he couldn’t even imagine the gang’s reaction if they had found him and Mac in that… situation. Now that he thought about it, what was he going to do about his and Mac’s _situation_? He pushed the thought away, he would keep an eye on it (as he always did) and deal with any conflicts when necessary. For now he’s just glad that things with his and Mac’s relationship were back to normal and everything else could just wait a goddamn minute. 

Dennis paced the bar for a while before settling down in a booth and sitting on his phone, reading updates from Dee on the Bill Ponderosa situation (which frankly he could give less than a shit about), trying to entertain himself with news articles, and eventually just leaning back and playing Tetris.

Dennis was still leaning back in the booth when Mac walked out of the back office, pulling a black tank top on over his head. Mac looked groggy and was running a hand through his fluffy morning hair.

“Mornin” Mac mumbled as he crashed into the booth opposite of Dennis.

“Mmm, morning. How are you feeling? Because I feel like my brain is soaked in alcohol” Dennis replied, rubbing his temples for full affect.

“Not too bad, definitely had worse hangovers but my head is still throbbing a little” Mac answered, still absentmindedly twining his fingers through his hair.

“I feel you man, I’m going to grab some aspirin. You want?” Dennis asked, pulling himself out of the booth with a groan.

Mac smiled up at him, still sleepy. “You don’t even gotta ask” he replied.

**

After they both took a few aspiring too many, they settled behind the bar to “shower” as Mac called it.

“Yeah you know, I wouldn’t have imagined the whole thing going down quite the way it did. It was a little uncomfortable but I’m glad, you know, we got our little heart-to-heart, or whatever you want to call it, out of the way. I feel like now we can set aside our differences and settle this whole divorce pretty amicably, you know?” Dennis asked while wiping himself off with a dish rag, Mac just stared back as he brushed his teeth.

Mac popped the tooth brush out of his mouth and asked, “You think it’s gonna be that easy, dude?” curiously. 

“Well, yeah, of course. I mean, marriage and divorce these days, it’s like, it’s more of a formality than anything else, you know? It’s just sort of something that you do, right?” Dennis asked, doubt starting to trickle in his voice during the tail end of his question.

Mac didn’t get the chance to answer that one, suddenly Frank and Charlie burst in yelling at each other about their “marriage”. They yelled over each other while Mac and Dennis watched from the sidelines, silent. Things came to a head when Charlie said:

“I cannot stand being married to you!” 

“Oh, you can’t stand it? I’m gonna pull the plug” Frank shot back, defiant.

“You gonna flush our marriage down the toilet?!” Charlie yells the question.

“Right down the toilet!” Frank yelled back.

“Flush it, big boy! Flush it down the toilet cause I don’t care!” Charlie got red in the face as he got increasingly worked up.

“Oh yeah? I’m gonna pull the plug, but first I’m gonna draw up some documents” Frank said, suddenly calm in his demeanor.

“All right, this is gonna be an ugly-ass divorce and we’re gonna get a mediator” Charlie said, also calming down after their enraged arguing. 

“Okay, I got it. We’ll get that idiot lawyer that always helps us out. He does good by us” Frank said, turning to get Mac and Dennis’ perspective on the situation. 

Dennis kept his eyes on Mac while Mac spoke, Dennis slowly buttoned up his shirt.

“Yeah, he’s excellent. But he slapped a restraining order on us, so we can’t use him” Mac said, Dennis nodded in agreement.

Mac pointed at Dennis, “Also you need a lawyer, too, so we should talk about it”.

“I need a lawyer? For what?” Dennis asked, looking genuinely confused. 

“How are you not grasping this situation?” Mac asked.

“Oh! For the divorce” Dennis said, as if he had just remembered he had even been married in the first place. He didn’t take his eyes off of Mac’s.

“You getting a divorce?” Charlie asked from the other side of the bar.

“Yeah” Dennis glanced at Charlie to answer the question and then automatically rerouted his gaze to land on Mac.

“All right, so it’s going around. Okay, I think I know someone who’ll take both our cases” Charlie said.

“Ah, is it you? Is it? Cause if it’s you I’m not interested” Dennis glanced at Mac during the last part of his sentence, he definitely wanted Mac to know he was _not_ interested in anyone else (especially Charlie).

“All right, well, I have a family member who’s a lawyer. I bet he’d do it” Charlie said, and Dennis just shrugged at him. 

Soon after this conversation, Charlie and Frank left to find Uncle Jack, leaving Mac and Dennis alone in the bar. 

“Do you really think Uncle Jack is going to be able to help you settle this thing?” Mac asked, staring at Dennis with big eyes.

“Knowing him, maybe not. Either way I’m getting a divorce, no need to worry about that” Dennis answered, giving Mac a smile. 

Mac gave Dennis a wide grin, he had been a little afraid (okay, a lot afraid) that the events of the night before were simply a fever dream he had and that Dennis was just going to leave him again. He was more relieved than he would ever admit that the threat of divorce that Dennis had brandished last night was turning into reality before his very eyes. 

Before he could stop himself (not that he really wanted to) Dennis leaned down slightly and kissed Mac’s lips, wanting to erase the anxiety culminating in Mac’s eyes, and Mac wrapped his arm around Dennis’ back, he pulled him in as close as he possibly could. They stayed like that for a minute before they broke away at the same time, they smiled and enjoyed the comfortable silence.

“Wanna play pool?” Mac asked, joy pooled in his brown eyes as he looked into Dennis’ bright blue ones.

“Yes! Rack em up baby!” Dennis yelled excitedly.

**  
Mac and Dennis spent the rest of the afternoon playing pool and talking in the corner, staying away from the regulars in the bar, and especially steered clear of Uncle Jack, Charlie, and Frank when they later returned. 

Uncle Jack ended up calling Mac over to take a picture of the newly annulled Charlie and Frank. Mac wasn’t happy to be pulled out of the conversation he was having with Dennis, he begrudgingly walked over to take the photo, Dennis trailed behind him. Before Mac could get the photo (and find out why Uncle Jack was so worried about his hands), Dee burst in and started a commotion, something about Bill Ponderosa and kidnapping.

Mac and Dennis trailed Dee outside and watched as Bill’s mistress and wife showed up. It was quite the scene. Once both of the ladies peeled away, Dennis realized what he may have gotten himself into with Maureen. 

“Yeah, well. The, uh, gravity of my situation just set in, so…” Dennis said.

“Let’s go get you a divorce, huh?” Mac asked, looking at Dennis expectantly.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah” Dennis replied, following Mac as he left Paddy’s.

**  
“You guys have any questions?” Uncle Jack asked as him, Mac, and Dennis walked up to Mac and Dennis’ apartment door.

“Yeah, I got a question. What’s in the fanny pack?” Mac asked, Dennis glanced over at him as he knocked on the door.

“Oh, check this out, Mac and Dennis. Just a little victory dance. Thought maybe we could hang out later” Uncle Jack said while proudly brandishing his crumpled fanny pack cigars towards Mac and Dennis.

Dennis glanced over at Mac and they gave each other knowing looks. They had plans later, ones that definitely did not include hanging out with Uncle Jack.

“No” Mac and Dennis both said in response, as the door to their apartment swung open.

“Oh, Mr. Reynolds!” said the lawyer who stood smugly beside Maureen.

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry, what are you doing here?” Dennis asked, scrunching up his brow.  
“Well, when I heard that you were getting divorced, I felt compelled to involve myself” the lawyer responded, Maureen’s hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, how would you have heard that I was getting a divorce?” Dennis asked, confused.

The lawyer then explained that Mac had called him and drunkenly explained the whole _divorce_ situation. The lawyer and Uncle Jack went into the “craft room” to “get started” on the divorce proceedings, Uncle Jack muttering about the lawyer’s large and impressive hands the whole way. 

“Aw… boy, the old place, huh? Some good memories here. All of us” Dennis said, trying to break up the awkward silence that had fallen over the room when him, Mac, and Maureen were left alone. Mac stood with his hands on his hips, eyeing the door. Maureen was looking around the room like she would rather look at anything other than the two men to her right.

“Hey, um… So I was like...” Dennis trailed off, not knowing what to say.

“I’m gonna go, I think…” Mac started, backing up towards the apartment door. Dennis put a hand on Mac’s back to stop him from fleeing the intensely uncomfortable situation. 

“No, no, no, stick around, dude. Stick around” Dennis said, he really didn’t want to be stuck in that suffocating room with Maureen all by himself, and honestly?… he just didn’t want Mac to go. 

“Please don’t go” Maureen interjected. Dennis was surprised at the comment but agreed with the overall sentiment.

“I don’t… I don’t want to though” Mac said, still leaning towards the door.

“No, you should stay” Maureen said just as the lawyer and Uncle Jack came back out into the living room. 

Uncle Jack explained that he got the apartment back but Dennis was going to have to take on Maureen’s debt and make alimony payments. Dennis… did not like that but at the moment he just wanted everyone (except Mac, of course) out of his goddamn apartment. 

Maureen said her smug “See ya around Dennis, Mac” as she left (but not before Mac caught the smell of her dead tooth in his nostrils), and then Mac got a picture of Dennis, the lawyer, and Uncle Jack for “the website”. After the picture was taken and all necessary papers signed, Uncle Jack and the lawyer finally left and Mac and Dennis were left to their own devices in their apartment. 

**  
About two hours after everyone had finally gotten the hell out of their apartment, Mac and Dennis sat on the couch watching the credits of Terminator 2 roll, surrounded by empty beer bottles and take out containers.  
“You know I watched the first Terminator movie with Maureen while she was… _staying here_ and it sucked so much. She wasn’t nearly as good at snide commentary as we are” Dennis said. They were already sitting pretty close together (even more than normal, if you can believe it), but Dennis shifted so that the entire sides of their bodies pressed into each other. 

“You watched Terminator without me? Come on man, that’s like our thing” Mac pouted.

“Mmm yeah, I’m sorry man. I know it’s our thing” Dennis said, giving Mac an apologetic smile.

“It’s ok, we’ll watch them even more to make up for it” Mac said cheerily, he gave Dennis a wide grin.

“Sounds like a plan” Dennis said.

“Dennis?” Mac asked quietly.

“Yeah?” Dennis asked.

“You promise never to run off and get married to some random person ever again? And I mean on the off chance that you do, could you not kick me out next time?” Mac asked, his voice small, like he was genuinely afraid this exact sequence of events would occur again next week.

Dennis shifted his body and looked into Mac’s eyes. “I promise, ok man? That was pretty fucked up of me to be honest, I’m sorry that I kicked you out like that. And plus, I missed you so much that I couldn’t even stay married for a week before you were back here so that has to mean _something_ ” Dennis said softly, that last part kind of just slipped out before he knew what he was saying, but he meant it and Mac deserved to hear it. 

Mac didn’t say anything. He just trailed his fingers along Dennis’ side, up his neck, and finally, into his hair. Mac pulled Dennis in and kissed him, on _their_ couch, in _their_ apartment. Dennis was wrong, this didn’t just mean _something_ , it meant everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, it's finally finished! I know compared to other fics this is NOT long but it's my longest work to date and it kicked my ass. *Closing time plays*... anyways comments/kudos are always appreciated. I'm on tumblr @macdentrash, come yell @ me about sunny/macdennis or send me prompts!


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